For today's feast of Corpus Christi, I started with an idea I liked, and thought that approximating the meter of the sequence, Lauda, Sion, would be appropriate.
I love seeing the journey. It's fascinating to me how easily you seem to be able to flip between modes.
In the first one I like the third stanza the best, all the growing things and the seeming-muteness of the tendrils and the roots. And their motion and agency: creeping, searching, speaking. There's an aliveness there.
And I like how the second one elaborates on that green growing liveliness.
I like the personal nature of the third one, but it would be interesting to see a poem that combined that sense of encounter with the imagery of the vine and green growing things. It's interesting how the desire for personal encounter changes the register completely from Christ the Vine to Christ the Lamb.
I love seeing the journey. It's fascinating to me how easily you seem to be able to flip between modes.
In the first one I like the third stanza the best, all the growing things and the seeming-muteness of the tendrils and the roots. And their motion and agency: creeping, searching, speaking. There's an aliveness there.
And I like how the second one elaborates on that green growing liveliness.
I like the personal nature of the third one, but it would be interesting to see a poem that combined that sense of encounter with the imagery of the vine and green growing things. It's interesting how the desire for personal encounter changes the register completely from Christ the Vine to Christ the Lamb.
Thank you! I had already decided the third one needed to be rewritten, and you have shown me how to do it! Will revise and post tomorrow.
I look forward to seeing it.
I very much enjoyed the third iteration! I'm interested to see how your rewrite (per Melanie's comment) changes things